Happy 60th to Axl Rose! I wonder if some days he’s surprised that he’s still here.

Rose had a rough start in life. When he was two or three years old, his biological father took off. Prior to his departure, Axl’s father sexually abused him. Later, Axl’s mother married a Pentecostal minister who was very strict, closed-minded, and emotionally and physically abusive. As a result, Axl was not afforded access to television and radio like a lot of kids. Rose has stated that on Sunday afternoons after sermon when his stepfather and mother had “private time in the bedroom” (wink, wink), the kids were left to their own accord, and they would listen to the radio surreptitiously. This is when Axl listened to his heroes: Elvis Presley, Led Zeppelin, Elton John, Queen, and many others. Interestingly, Axl has been a tremendous fan of Bernie Taupin’s songwriting, and Taupin has publicly praised Rose, especially for the lyrics to “Sweet Child O’ Mine.” Just in case you were curious.

Music was Axl’s escape as a child; he would sneak off and listen to his portable radio at school where he would imagine what life must be like beyond the confining walls of his childhood home and small hometown where the freedom to express himself was severely limited.

I’ve often wondered if Rose resented his mother for not protecting him against his fathers. Is this resentment the catalyst for some of the misogynistic lyrics in several of GNR’s songs? Is Axl, deep down, afraid or resentful of women? Because this is the fallout that occurs when an adult hurts, or neglects, a child. It lasts long after the black and blue bruises have faded.

I’ve read where Rose has done a lot of deep exploration into his psyche, personality, emotions, etc. to try to make sense of his childhood and who he is. Ditto here. It’s tough work. It’s difficult to accept that we were not loved in the manner that we needed, that our parent (or parents) were too busy focusing on other people and situations instead of us, that the people who were meant to protect us the most, didn’t, and so on.

Our childhood situations were not our faults, much like the abuse and neglect Axl experienced had nothing to do with him. Parents often repeat generational patterns, especially if they are not “awake” or “evolved.” It’s our job, as the children of these parents, to live more consciously and break these patterns, even if we ourselves are not parents (I’m not and neither is Axl, which may have a lot to do with our respective childhoods).

If you grew up in an abusive home, you can change your perception of the events and view them not as something horrible that happened to you, but rather, something that happened for you because now you have a clearer understanding of who you are, your boundaries, and what type of parent not to be.

And if you are an abusive parent, it is never too late to do the healing work to figure out your issues, apologize to your family, and live differently, and hopefully more consciously, moving forward.